I showed up in this drastic world based on lies made by my parents. No wonder, giving them respect was hard for me. I grew up hating everything I see. I grew up hating the people who brought me to this miserable life. My parents, siblings, relatives, friends, past lovers, everyone. I hated them for never got tired of pulling my head down to where I can almost kiss their feet. For never appreciating the things I've been trying to prove to them. I grew up with no one to share my small achievements. My family never gave me the chance to live the way many were. I think somehow, I deserve to be accepted for what or for who I am. I may don't look as pleasing as my other siblings nor as good as them when it comes to school stuffs. I may never have engaged myself in extra curricular activities like how they once were. I may have not experienced a successful relationship. I may have nothing precious in my palms to boast off in the crowd but I believe, everyone deserves "acceptance". Growing up was never easy for me. Being punished big time for committing small mistakes until I got numb and stuck to "this" place where I could no longer see anyone else but myself. I grew up often compared from my siblings and I hate that because we were born with distinct uniqueness, we should be understanding that phenomena as a resident in this cruel world. That there are no two individuals allowed by God to ever exist. I am mad at people! I am angry at those people who can't understand the different aspects of life. To the prejudices who don't know what to do anything good with their lame lives but to babble around their prospects! Why don't you try to look in the mirror so you'll see your many imperfections. Why don't you try to start embracing ones flaws so you could then accept the person as a whole. There's no use in comparing and comparing, pulling down others for your welfare, there's no use in talking non sense about others behind their backs, you're just making your self look pitiful. You're just contributing chaos in this world.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm not a part of this family. I feel like I don't fit in because they make me feel different from them and the only way to catch their attention is to make mistakes. I need them to understand me, I need them to give me the kind of love that's willing to wait as I take my time to change. I need them to fully trust me and stop telling me that I'm a no good person. Sometimes, I feel uncomfortable when I'm around their presences. I'm aware that you all care for me, thank you for that, but I need more than that what you all think of. You can't blame me for my miseries, your bitterness actually pushed me to the arms of my friends. With them, I found a place where I think I feel belonged. Where I can share experiences that I wasn't able to share with all of you. With them, I found comfort and a family that I've never tasted in this home. They filled up my hunger for an ideal family 'cause you've left it abandoned. You just don't know how you've been killing me through these years. Your cruelty have brought me to where I am today. But even so, you're still my family and that will never ever change.
I hate perfectionist! Yes because first and for most, nobody is perfect! You are the ones to blame why many are living in the shadow, you were not born to be a superior, you were born to inspire, to motivate the weak to be strong. You were created with an objective of touching many lost lives but instead, you enjoy stepping at others' head. You know what, if I've got a chance, I'd get my gun and pull the trigger straight to your heart until I run out of bullets. People like your style don't deserve whatever endowment God has given to you. I hate those too proud smart ass wimps 'cause they think they know everything, they think they're right about everything. They don't know how to appreciate simple line of horizon. They set a high standard to meet but what about others like me? I don't qualify right? I can't stand to be with these people, they give me reason to kill. I've met a lot of their kind but their not as good as what they think of themselves. So shut up and get a life because it will take you forever out looking for someone that would exactly fit in to your qualifications loser.
All of you, you disgust me. You've hurt me, you've molded hatred in my heart. No, you won't gain any respect from me, never! You all deserve to be disappointed forever and you'll die under my knees.
I know many will feel guilty after reading this or perhaps will get furious. Either way, I don't care, still, you disgust me!
Sometimes, I feel like I'm not a part of this family. I feel like I don't fit in because they make me feel different from them and the only way to catch their attention is to make mistakes. I need them to understand me, I need them to give me the kind of love that's willing to wait as I take my time to change. I need them to fully trust me and stop telling me that I'm a no good person. Sometimes, I feel uncomfortable when I'm around their presences. I'm aware that you all care for me, thank you for that, but I need more than that what you all think of. You can't blame me for my miseries, your bitterness actually pushed me to the arms of my friends. With them, I found a place where I think I feel belonged. Where I can share experiences that I wasn't able to share with all of you. With them, I found comfort and a family that I've never tasted in this home. They filled up my hunger for an ideal family 'cause you've left it abandoned. You just don't know how you've been killing me through these years. Your cruelty have brought me to where I am today. But even so, you're still my family and that will never ever change.
I hate perfectionist! Yes because first and for most, nobody is perfect! You are the ones to blame why many are living in the shadow, you were not born to be a superior, you were born to inspire, to motivate the weak to be strong. You were created with an objective of touching many lost lives but instead, you enjoy stepping at others' head. You know what, if I've got a chance, I'd get my gun and pull the trigger straight to your heart until I run out of bullets. People like your style don't deserve whatever endowment God has given to you. I hate those too proud smart ass wimps 'cause they think they know everything, they think they're right about everything. They don't know how to appreciate simple line of horizon. They set a high standard to meet but what about others like me? I don't qualify right? I can't stand to be with these people, they give me reason to kill. I've met a lot of their kind but their not as good as what they think of themselves. So shut up and get a life because it will take you forever out looking for someone that would exactly fit in to your qualifications loser.
All of you, you disgust me. You've hurt me, you've molded hatred in my heart. No, you won't gain any respect from me, never! You all deserve to be disappointed forever and you'll die under my knees.
I know many will feel guilty after reading this or perhaps will get furious. Either way, I don't care, still, you disgust me!
2 comments:
the reason why you can't be completely happy is because you don't know how to let go of that hatred that you're feeling.. you know what's right from wrong yet you still do the negative..
I grew up hating the people who brought me to this miserable life.
this one is wrong ziel.. we're the ones who created the kind of life we're having now.. if our life is miserable, it is because we wanted it to be that way.. take time to contemplate.. look back but never let the past drag you down.. see them as a tool to start a new and better life.. it ain't easy i know, but it's worth it.. good luck!
halu mam....
i've read it na jud.. noh? i respect what u have written. hehehe.... pero just one thought came into my mind. i think we're just creating our own nightmare man cguro. hee.... well then don't get carried away with what u feel. u have u're entire life to prove them wrong ziel.. remember eminem? he was very outspoken bout his family, and then he suddenly see, he was just ruining his own life more than he thought his family had done.... but then again it takes maturity to see things beyond imperfction, set asiding anger... and i'm leaving it all to you.. don't just rush things out. take it by dose. ok? ;-) as for this time, let u're anger die a natural death and give way to a same old brand new u... wa ta kybaw, u're family was just trying to mold you to fit into a very tough world dba??? hehehe... take ur time ziel... a bottle of Redhorse could somhow help 4get a li'l of those pain... take it from sumbody hu knows.. hahaha... ;-) unsa man? tagai Nah!!!!
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