Three more exams to go and I'll be off for more or less three months from this brain damaging way of acquiring knowledge. -school.
I wonder where my next stop would be since I'm still loaded with so many confusions. I've been browsing for some details of the places that had caught my interests. Somewhere far, away, secluded and tranquilizing. People are moving on but I'm still here in this permanent position. I talked to our guidance councilor and discussed about serious school stuffs since I'm attending his classes irregularly and I missed a lot of activities. I have a feeling that the transformations are working in my life right now. It's not everyday that I talk about my personal issues and for the past few days, I've told several friends about the chaos inside me. Before I went to the guidance office, I took our final exam in Physics. It was a disaster, I wasn't ready to take the exam but there's no way to back out. Good thing I was able to hitch from my classmate's notes and scan. That last minute study helped a lot in increasing the percentage of my performance in the exam. But that doesn't give me an assurance of a passing grade, I've missed to answer two problems worth 10 points. I screwed up and I can't help myself from being pessimistic. I hate it when I forget what I have just read and stared at the questions hopelessly.
When he asked me what's my problem, I couldn't speak. Because by the time I'll open my mouth, tears would follow and I don't want it to happen. Not there, not in front of him and other people. But then I realized that I was helpless and I need someone to absorb my sentiments. So there I said it and I hope I made the right choice. He now knew some of my personal issues, I even told him about an ex of mine that I hid from my friends and family. Of how painful it was for me to be left in the air by the one person who I never thought would do such thing to me. Of how I got crazy over someone who doesn't give a damn about what I feel. And of how he transformed me into a better person and destroyed me without even realizing it. If he only knew how important he is in my life, then he might wanna wish to live longer. Geee...I could never hate my match and that basically hinders me from getting over that significant someone.
Deep within me, there's an issue buried. Sometimes, it crawls above, clings to my shadow until it overlaps my personality. It's hunting me down every time and so I leave. I can sense that it's coming out again and I need a space to rebury this. I'm tired but I have to do this to protect myself in any way. I can't foretell where to hide now but I'm pretty sure, there is a place.
Life must go on and evenlthough I have thousands of reasons to feel bad about life, I know there is one that is worth a million that says I shouldn't be.
I wonder where my next stop would be since I'm still loaded with so many confusions. I've been browsing for some details of the places that had caught my interests. Somewhere far, away, secluded and tranquilizing. People are moving on but I'm still here in this permanent position. I talked to our guidance councilor and discussed about serious school stuffs since I'm attending his classes irregularly and I missed a lot of activities. I have a feeling that the transformations are working in my life right now. It's not everyday that I talk about my personal issues and for the past few days, I've told several friends about the chaos inside me. Before I went to the guidance office, I took our final exam in Physics. It was a disaster, I wasn't ready to take the exam but there's no way to back out. Good thing I was able to hitch from my classmate's notes and scan. That last minute study helped a lot in increasing the percentage of my performance in the exam. But that doesn't give me an assurance of a passing grade, I've missed to answer two problems worth 10 points. I screwed up and I can't help myself from being pessimistic. I hate it when I forget what I have just read and stared at the questions hopelessly.
When he asked me what's my problem, I couldn't speak. Because by the time I'll open my mouth, tears would follow and I don't want it to happen. Not there, not in front of him and other people. But then I realized that I was helpless and I need someone to absorb my sentiments. So there I said it and I hope I made the right choice. He now knew some of my personal issues, I even told him about an ex of mine that I hid from my friends and family. Of how painful it was for me to be left in the air by the one person who I never thought would do such thing to me. Of how I got crazy over someone who doesn't give a damn about what I feel. And of how he transformed me into a better person and destroyed me without even realizing it. If he only knew how important he is in my life, then he might wanna wish to live longer. Geee...I could never hate my match and that basically hinders me from getting over that significant someone.
Deep within me, there's an issue buried. Sometimes, it crawls above, clings to my shadow until it overlaps my personality. It's hunting me down every time and so I leave. I can sense that it's coming out again and I need a space to rebury this. I'm tired but I have to do this to protect myself in any way. I can't foretell where to hide now but I'm pretty sure, there is a place.
Life must go on and evenlthough I have thousands of reasons to feel bad about life, I know there is one that is worth a million that says I shouldn't be.
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